It's Not as Bad as a Punch in the Face

Dane Cook is one of my favorite comedians. In one of my favorite jokes, he discusses the unbearable trip that everyone must take at some point to the DMV. He suggests that in order to improve the trip, they should have someone standing behind the door to punch you in the face as you walk in. That way you can say, "Man the DMV is bad, but it's not as bad as a punch in the face..."

This is how I feel when Trey Hillman brings in Kyle Farnsworth. I feel like I am getting punched in the face.

Now, I know it's easy to be a "manager" when you're sitting on the couch at home. But seriously, can you guys follow Hillman's thinking process on this one? Let's go on a journey here...

You've got first and third, no outs, up two runs and a totally rested bullpen (one of your team's greatest strengths) so obviously now is a good time to go get one of your relievers.

You've already used Cruz in this game, so your best options to replace Ron Mahay would figure to be either Joakim Soria or Robinson Tejeda. Tejeda has ridiculous stuff, and has pitched 3 2/3 innings for you this season, not allowing a single hit and striking out seven (may I add here that I think this kid is severely underused and essentially overlooked by Hillman on a daily basis).

You instead go with Jamey Wright. He's a solid if unspectacular pitcher who will give you a professional effort. Not really good or bad here in my opinion.

Wright does a little damage and you go to the ninth tied at 5. Frank Francisco is dealing in the ninth, and your offense gets nothing.

At this point, you have Kyle Farnsworth and Soria each warming up. Francisco is really the Rangers' only good reliever, so the longer you can keep the Rangers from scoring the more you have to like your chances.

So, your choices once again are Soria or Farnsworth. Soria is terrific. Might I add he hasn't given up a home run since last August, he hasn't pitched in six days, and KC has an off day coming up. Oh and he's one of the best two or three relief pitchers in the world, I almost forgot that part...

But, you pick choice B: Farnsworth. He has two of your team's four losses. He gives up home runs at an incredible rate. You're facing one of the best home run hitting teams in baseball, with the heart of the order due up, in one of the better home run parks in baseball.

Farnsworth, without skipping a beat, throws a perfectly-meaty-oh so pretty-Ray Charles could smash it-96 mph fastball down the middle to the first batter he faces, the powerful Michael Young, who crushes one deep enough into the left field seats that DeJesus' first move is not back, but to the shower.

Soria heads that way, too. At the earliest, he will have gone eight days before he pitches next.

It's just one game, I get that. The Royals are still in first, I get that. There is more good than bad to be said about our boys in blue this year, I get that. But, this is the third time this has happened this year. I understand that Dayton Moore (who I love with all my heart) has invested $9 million into Farnsworth (for whatever reason I will never know or understand). But, you would think as much as Hillman hates consistency with our lineup, that he would change something that's not working. Some things I will just never understand...

Please do me a favor. The next time any of you are with me when the Royals bring in Farnsworth to pitch, please punch me in the face.

He's Keeping His Word?

Jesus, the second half of the semester is hell for my blogs. Projects, papers, and finals are running amok on my schedule. But, I kept saying for days that I was going to write about the Chiefs once again. Especially, since I encountered a rarity this week. Jason Whitlock and myself disagreed on our lovable Chiefs. Wait, did I just say that? Yes...yes I did. But, we will save that for another time...

Instead, the reason I am writing today is to discuss the big (no bullshit) move in baseball yesterday pulled by our very own Dayton Moore. Dayton traded away Ramon Ramirez for Coco Crisp. Now, I have no qualms with this move. Ramirez was a very bright spot late in our bullpen last year. But, I don't understand why we went to the outfield...

I understand this outfield acquisition will no doubt help us to flash some more leather in the field. But, this was not where we needed fixing. We didn't need it in the outfield and we didn't need it with the glove. Ask any Royals fan what our biggest weakness was last year and they will no doubt point you to our terrible hitting. Finally, with so many questions left in the infield, I don't understand why we are doing work on our back 3. We have unanswered questions at second which causes problems at shortstop, and third base is even up for grabs in a way. At least we locked down Mike Jacobs at first...

Maybe I'm just being naive, maybe I'm just jumping the gun, but I can't help but feel that while this wasn't a step back, it certainly was anything but a forward move for our broken organization...

Same Name, Different War

Yesterday was a day that I had anticipated for over 2 years. If I could, I would have hibernated two years ago to November 8th. Why is this? It's a simple reason really, I got to continue the fight against those damn locusts...

Gears of War 2 dropped yesterday. Having beaten the campaign yesterday (that's right, I was determined), I can safely say that this game was worth the wait. The graphics have improved drastically with the addition and tweak of Unreal Engine 3. The voices and characters are better than ever. All of your favorite characters return (even Carmine, I'll let you find out how) and some new ones make their debut. The story is much more engrossing and developed than the first one. There is even a romance back story associated with Dom and his long lost wife Maria. Multiplayer is just as bad ass as ever. Better yet, to quote Cliffy B, "it's bigger, better, and more bad ass". The game has been upgraded to 5-on-5 and also includes new weapons (mortars, flamethrowers, poison grenades, etc.), and maps. I could go on all day about how awesome this game is. But, there are somethings that rubbed me wrong as well...

Look, I know this is supposed to be a trilogy. But, this game has succumbed to the same fate as the Halo 2 campaign. I won't give anything away, but I do feel a little like my time was wasted upon completion of the campaign. There is also no four player co-op and the "Halo" replay feature is average at best. The shotgun got nerfed, really really bad. This gone has gone to useless now. It almost feels like I'm playing an entirely different game from the first one. Finally, the end boss battle was painfully easy. Incredibly disappointing ending battle.

Don't get me wrong, I love this game. This is my new favorite game on the 360. But, I might have gotten taken in the hype. I know Cliffy has high standards, so I expect a Utopian experience on a game with no flaws, and that's just unfair of me. Best game so far of 2008, 10/10.

The Audacity of Hope...is true

Tonight, is a historic night in American history. Never before has an African American been elected president. But, you didn't need me to tell you that. Everybody knows that I am a huge Obama supporter, almost as big as they come. I did lots of work back in Lee's Summit for his campaign and I read both of his award winning books. I know I'm a little liberal. But, I took an amazing liking to Barack Obama. I studied the man, his policies, and politics. I was amazed to find out, what I consider to be, one of the greatest stories in American history...

Summed up nicely from his website:
"Barack Obama was raised by a single mother and his grandparents. They didn't have much money, but they taught him values from the Kansas heartland where they grew up. He took out loans to put himself through school. After college, he worked for Christian churches in Chicago, helping communities devastated when steel plants closed. Obama turned down lucrative job offers after law school to return to Chicago, leading a successful voter registration drive. He joined a small law firm, taught constitutional law and, guided by his Christian faith, stayed active in his community. Obama and his wife Michelle are proud parents of two daughters, Sasha and Malia."

This is the ultimate rags-to-riches story in American history. Not only do I agree with his policies, but I love this man and his story. It is so refreshing to see such an uplifting and overcoming story in America. Just as Barack stated tonight, if this isn't the ultimate example of anything being possible in America, I don't know what is.

Congratulations to you Mr. Obama. You deserve everything you've earned. You also gave one of your best speeches ever tonight. How do I know this? It made me cry...tears of joy for this uplifting and inspiring man and most importantly, our leader.

Spread It Wrong

Sorry I didn't update the second half of the game yesterday, the female came over and well...you know how that goes...

So about the game yesterday. where do I start? Do we really need another reason to get rid of Herm Edwards at this point? Kansas City wasn't expected to win that game yesterday, we weren't even supposed to be close. Yet, we stayed with New York the entire game. I would argue that we even blew a game that we had in the bag by ditching a highly effective spread that Thigpen could run with extreme ease and precision. In a nutshell, this offense made Thigpen look like NFL material. He was 10/10 with over 120 yards and a touchdown towards the end of the first half. The first half is not what I have the problem with though. Let's continue on to the fourth quarter...

Charles is hurt, BDon has had 2 picks (one a pick six), and KC has the lead with 2 minutes left in the game. First downs, that is all we need is first downs. Now, here is the major plot twist of yesterday's game that no one saw coming, except Herm apparently...

Chan Gailey goes to Herm and tells him that he is ditching the spread offense that has gotten KC this lead in the first place. WHAT?! Are we serious right now? Why? What justifiable reason is there for doing this at this point?

"That's what we thought was best to win the game," Gailey replied. Was Edwards involved with this decision? "My call!" Gailey shouted.

So Herm was in no way involved with this ingenious decision?

"He could've overruled me," Gailey said.

Now KC is 1-6, I'll let the article speak for itself at this point.

Kansas City Cheifs vs New York Jets

Ugh, this should be fun. No Huard, no Croyle, and no Johnson. Well, let's cross our fingers...

12:03 - Jets, Jets, Jets, Kickoff

12:07 - Favre has all day, it's amazing seeing his composure compared to Thigpen

12:10 - KC's coverage looks very soft, almost like our entire secondary is a step behind

12:12 - TD Jets, amazing call with the screen

12:15 - Terrible kick return, no wedge at all from KC

12:18 - First down to Gonzalez, you can always count on him

12:21 - Punt KC, DC is hurt too, shit...

12:22 - Seriously? Coverage is WAY too soft now

12:27 - Missed field goal by Feeley, isn't this why we cut him after 2 days?

12:30 - Thigpen is sacked again, our line is just letting them do whatever they want

12:31 - Punt again by KC, lucky to get that one off

12:34 - BDon Flowers with his first NFL pick on a terrible Farve throw, Farve is hurt, he got drilled...hard

12:35 - End of first quarter, results have been pretty expected so far. New York is trying to keep us in this game thankfully. Kolby Smith has 3 carries for 1 yard, totally unacceptable.

12:39 - TD KC on a deep corner to Gonzalez. That was an NFL throw by Thigpen and a Hall of Fame catch by Gonzalez. Tie game baby!

12:47 - 3 and out by New York, momentum is really starting to swing our way

12:50 - It's really becoming apparant that Thigpen can run way better than he can pass

12:51 - Charles with a first down run, please get him more carries

12:54 - No huddle by KC? I feel like I'm watchin Mizzou...

12:56 - Come on Chan, they are killing you with blitz packages, good drive stopped by bad protection

1:03 - Another pick by Farve, he seems to be forcing it instead of taking sacks. Hali with the pressure again just like the last pick. Interception by Page

1:05 - I hope everybody started Thigpen in their fantasy league today. 10/10, 121 yards, and a TD

1:07 - I love how we run 6 yard outs when it's 3rd and 7...

1:09 - Farve almost threw another pick on a high pass, scary scary in this part of the field

1:10 - 2 minute warning, I would imagine Farve is good with 2 minute drills. Defense needs to step up here

1:13 - Another draw play kills us, 60 yard TD New York by Leon Washington

1:17 - Whoa, Thigpen almost throws a pick 6, damn lucky Tyler...

1:19 - Charles is hurt, shit...

1:21 - OPI on Gonzalez when the pass is on the complete other side of the field, WHAT!?

1:26 - Close TD play with 6 seconds left, it appears that the booth will overturn this call for KC

1:28 - Long ass review, TD KC :-)

1:30 - Halftime

Have you ever been to Scranton, Pennsylvania?

I have, I go every week. I've been to Scranton over 69 times in 5 years. What's so special about this tiny little city? Paper and paper supplies to be exact. That's right, Scranton is the home of the most popular branch of Dunder Mifflin Paper Company in the world. All of the employees are unique, fun, and have their own crazy personalities. It's a pretty standard office when you think about it. Nothing too exciting or ridiculous (unless you count constant office relationships, sexual encounters in back warehouses, office pranks, an angry ex-boyfriend getting maced, diversity seminars, and a Martha Stewart like fraud encounter), but other than that it's pretty boring.

Much like the Tampa Bay Rays, I wonder if I enjoy the hit NBC comedy The Office for the right reasons. I'm beginning to think once again that this show is just a mere parallel of my life. For example, let's look at how I ended up with my wonderful girlfriend Mags. She (Pam) started out dating a guy (Roy) that other people in the office didn't too much care for. Yet, Mags (Pam) and myself (Jim) always talked and joked around at work. Now, after many years, Mags (Pam) ditched him (Roy) and started dating myself (Jim).

I could go on and on about the almost scary comparisons between this show and my life. Is it the parallel between my life or the fact that this office is mirrored so much off of the Bush Administration that keeps me watching. What? You didn't realize that? Think about that next time you watch The Office and see just how much Michael Scott really is just like Dub-ya...